Lindsay Lohan Shouldn’t Drive. Ever.

Written by Ty Linebreak

TMZ is reporting that on top of finding Lindsay Lohan’s Blood-Alcohol levels to be at nearly twice the legal limit, she also had cocaine in her system the night she crashed her mercedes back in May.

Wanna know what’s sad? At first I just wrote “The night she crashed her car” but I had to actually go back and clarify because you WOULDN’T KNOW WHICH TIME I WAS TALKING ABOUT. How sad is that? OH Lindsay, if you come out of rehab sober, I… I.. I just don’t know what I’ll do.

Ha! Just kidding! Sober… If she can make it to her car without stopping at the liquor store I’ll consider her rehab a smashing success.

Posted on June 30, 2007 | Read more articles on Lindsay Lohan

Jody Sweetin Has Big Boobs (and is apparently still acting… who knew?)

Written by Ty Linebreak

While this might just be a clever ruse on my part to post a picture of Stephanie Tanner and her ginormous Olsen Twins, apparently she WAS actually out in Hollywood last night and DID SAY that she’s working on a new project. So that’s important and relevant. And by “out in Hollywood” I’m not insinuating that she was snorting meth with Lindsay Lohan in the bathroom of Le Deux, in fact I don’t even know if you can snort meth, although if anyone could figure out a way to snort it, it would be Lohan, so maybe I am.

Posted on June 29, 2007 | Read more articles on Jody Sweetin

Lilly Allen Arrested

Written by Ty Linebreak

Uh… who is this chick exactly? Apprently she was arrested for punching a paparazzo in London. I’m pretty sure that if no one knows who you are then they probably aren’t taking your picture and that means you probably just knocked out a Japanese tourist who was trying to get a shot of the street sign you were standing in front of. Rude and unnecesary? Definately. Slightly hilarious? Probably. Newsworthy? Not at all.

Posted on June 29, 2007 | Read more articles on Lily Allen

Paris Dons “Disguise” in Hawaii

Written by marnies Linebreak

TMZ just posted one of the first vacation photos from Paris Hilton’s first trip to Hawaii. With all that time behind bars, the over-exposed, porn-making, “that’s hot”- saying, bible-reading, no-drug-taking heiress deserves a vacation! One question, though–is this a real attempt at going incognito? I feel like I’m playing hide-n-seek with my nephew and I still have to pretend I don’t see him even though his feet are hanging out of the closet. I mean c’mon! She’s even giving her signature open-mouth flirty pose. Next time, Paris, try the Groucho disguise with the fuzzy nose and glasses.

Paris Hawaii pic