Eddie Murphy engaged

Written by alpstyle

46 year old Eddie Murphy popped the question to long-time girlfriend Tracey Edmonds on July 25th. But their engagement is not short of any drama. Eddie Murphy is still involved in a paternity suit with Melanie Brown (Scary Spice from the Spice Girls). If you’ll recall, Eddie denied having anything to do with Melanie’s child despite her protests. DNA testing has confirmed that the child however, is Eddie’s.

“The paternity test had no impact on our relationship,” Edmonds said in June.

Shocking Tales of Hollywood!

Written by Ty

3 guys are coming forth saying that they were in the car the night Lindsay tried to kill everyone in Santa Monica. Here is there story the way I see it happening:

Dante Nigro, Jakon Sutter and Ronnie Blake who are apparently friends with the boyfriend of Lindsay’s former assistant’s cousin’s ex-best friend’s hairdresser or something, all went to a party together to have fun. BUT EVERYTHING WAS NOT FUN!! Lindsay got into a fight with her assistant and her assistant got pissy and stormed off like a 13 year old fat girl at a school dance. So the three guys were like “uh, we’re peacing out” but Lindsay was all “NOT SO FAST!” And then she jumped into their car and took off. One of the guys was like “eek!” and leaped out of the way, but he was too late and Lindsay ran over his foot. Crying and bloody, he still got in the car anyway and the four of them headed off to kill and eat* Lindsay’s assistant.

Dante claims that they got on the PCH and Lindsay was doing 100 mph, prompting him to grab the wheel but Lindsay was all “If you touch me I’ll sue you!” And since he’s seen what Lindsay’s lawyers are capable of, he backed the fuck off. Then they caught up with the assistant and started driving circles around her car!! Like, donuts and shit! The guys were like “Waaaa! We’re going to get in trouble!” But then Lindsay’s eyes turned red and her head turned all the way around and she was like, “I can’t get in trouble. I’m a celebrity. I can do whatever the fuck I want!” Which was most certainly followed by evil cartoon villain laughter.

Somewhere during the exorcism scene they managed to lose the assistant and decided instead to head toward the assistant’s mother’s house, where she would most certainly be headed since there she is protected under the magical law until she turned 17. Or was that Harry Potter? Both stories are equally ridiculous, I get confused. Anyhoo- so they’re on their way to the mother’s house when they meet Mrs. Assistant ever so conveniently pulling into the driveway. The mother was like “who the hell is tearing into my driveway like a drunk Lindsay Lohan??” And drove her ass back out before she was run down. Lindsay undoubtedly shook her fist out the driver’s side window as she tore after the mom, chasing her all the way to Santa Monica where she then realized that the mother was leading her right to the police station!! FOILED!! Lindsay was all “I’m not gonna fall for THAT again!” and pulled into a parking lot next to the station where police officers showed up immediately. In an attempt to save her skin and also promote the white-agenda, Lindsay told police officers “I wasn’t driving. The black kid was driving.” Then Lindsay failed the sobriety test when she took off her clothes and told the officers that they could stick their miranda rights up her parent trap, and was arrested on the scene.

*This is just speculation. I know Lindsay wouldn’t eat a human being. That shit’s got maaad calories, yo.

Isla Fischer has big baby bump

Written by alpstyle

Isla Fischer, the crazy red-head from “Wedding Crashers” and soon to be released “Hot Rod” showed off her big baby bump at the premiere of her new movie.

And who is the father of the baby? Why none other than funny man Sacha Baron Cohen (Borat, Talledega Nights, Ali G).

I didn’t even know she was pregnant, but she definitely looks like she could have it any day now!

REM singer a model??

Written by alpstyle

Fashion designer Marc Jacobs has apparently lost his mind and contracted REM frontrunner Michael Stipe as the new male model.

I know skinny is in and everything, but how is a pale, balding, Holocaust-looking guy supposed to sell clothes? Where are the tall, ripped men, who make you want to tear apart their clothes and ravage them?

I’m guessing sales will be down this quarter…

The View hires Whoopi

Written by alpstyle

The L.A. Times is reporting that The View is hiring Whoopi Goldberg as a replacement for Rosie O’Donnell. Another lady named Sherri Shepard will also be a co-host.

Speculations have been swarming whether or not Kathy Griffin would be hired on the show, but the executive producer, Bill Geddie said,”We got a hiring to do here. So the chances of us hiring two white women… not very likely.”

Well I don’t see any Asians or Latino women co-hosts on the show either, if there wanting to keep it fair regarding race. I hate that show anyway, just a bunch of old women flapping their yap.

Britney’s bodyguard beats up photographer

Written by alpstyle

Britney Spears took her children to Las Vegas Thursday (without Kevin Federline’s permission) and her bodyguard got in an altercation with a photographer.

Her bodyguard beat up a photographer after he accidentally bumped into one of her kids. But why did the photographer bump into the child because he was taking photos of Miss Spears. Some are saying that the bodyguard was ticked that he was snapping shots of Brit and shoved the guy which caused him to bump into the child and therefore got a beating because of it.

I could actually care less, it probably didn’t even bother kid because they’ve been dropped on their heads so many times by the nannies.

Nicole gets off easy

Written by alpstyle

Today at L.A. Superior Court Nicole Richie was sentenced for her DUI charges that stem back to December, her second DUI in a four year period.

And what was her sentence??? Well, just four days in jail, City or County jail (she can pick) and a fine of $2,048.

And since she was in jail a whole 6 hours after her arrest, it counts as one day, so she only has to go back for three whole days. Richie must also serve her time by September 28th.

Now Lindsay’s mother speaks out

Written by alpstyle

Okay, I take it back, everyone in the freaking Lindsay Lohan bunch should just shut their pie hole. Now Dina Lohan, Lindsay’s mother is speaking out about the Jay Leno bit cracking on her daughter.

“We have a great respect for Jay Leno, but we are disappointed in the path he chose to allow a guest to make light of a very serious situation concerning Lindsay. Thank you to Craig Ferguson for not making a mockery of such a serious situation to which teens and young adults are facing across the country.”

Oh come on Dina, it was funny, lighten up.

Michael Lohan responds to daughters accusations

Written by alpstyle

Michael Lohan, father to Lindsay Lohan and Ali Lohan is firing back at Ali’s accusations that her father was never present in their lives growing up.

OK!: What is the first thing that went through your mind when you heard
about Ali’s letter?

Michael Lohan: I said, ‘Get me on the phone with David Kaplan.’ For Ali to say that I was never there and I’m lying…People who have known us for 25 years know that I have always been there for my kids. These lies have got to stop because they are having an effect on my children. We don’t realize in life is that what I do affects my kids.

OK!: Is it a chain reaction?

Michael: Absolutely, it’s a reciprocal effect, it’s like a pebble in a pond. Everyone gets affected by it, but we don’t realize it and I certainly didn’t in my life and I should have. Now you get these things on VH-1 being written by my daughter Ali. Ali was too young to remember any of this. And you know what, reflect back on Lindsay’s soundtrack, “Daughter to Father, Confessions of a Broken Heart,” read the words — “I wait for the postman to bring me a letter, I wait for the good lord to make me better, I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders, a family in crisis that only gets older.” And then she goes on to say, “where are you now daddy I love you, I love you.” It’s a story of love and caring about a father.

OK!: You just want your daughters to be happy? In the end that’s what a father wants for their children, to be happy?

Michael: I just wanted to help. You know I just wanted to be there for my kids and make Lindsay a success. She’s blessed and gifted.

OK!: Are you proud of Lindsay?

Michael: Lindsay is my daughter, I love her to death. You know if I could serve the time for her in jail I would myself, if they allowed me to I would. If I could die for my kids I would. I gladly, without a blink of an eye, give my life for my children. And that’s what it’s about, loving my kids.

What is up with this guy?? I mean really, is he trying to be famous himself by using his daughter as a way to talk to the media? He never shuts up! He always has something to say. He was the first in line to jump in and tell the world what he thought about Lindsay’s recent arrest, when her mother politely declined. Come on, this guys an ass, and we all know it.

Britney fires assistant

Written by alpstyle

Britney Spears is looking for an excuse out of her recent string of bizarre behavior and is now blaming it on her former assistant. Shannon Funk was fired on Wednesday after 3 weeks on the job.

Britney felt a lot of her recent troubles started and stopped with Shannon,” an insider close to Spears tells Life & Style weekly. “Britney thought [Shannon] was talking badly about her. She was very rude and Britney felt she was letting business emails fall by the wayside.”

Before Shannon, Britney used her cousin Alli for awhile but that relationship quickly ended.

I highly doubt that girl was anymore of a nuisance than Britney is herself. Maybe the girl called her out on a few of her recent rampages and Britney didn’t like it. I don’t think I’d last more than a day before getting canned by the poptart because I’d tell her exactly what I thought!

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