Another Day, Another Court Mandate
TMZ reports today that Britney has had ALL of her visitation rights taken away from her for alledgedly not complying with court orders, including not providing the drug testers with her contact information so they could administer said tests.
The order by L.A. County Commissioner Scott Gordon came after K-Fed’s lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, went to court yesterday for an emergency hearing.
The order reads, “Petitioner’s (Britney’s) visitation with the minor children is suspended pending Petitioner’s compliance with the court orders.”
Brit’s next shot at getting the kids is October 26, when she’s been ordered back to court.
Do you really have to be a detective to find Britney Spears? I mean, I’m pretty sure the Hollywood Starline Tour drives right past her house. And if she’s not home, even I have a pretty good idea where Britney is throughout the course of the day. The paparazzi act like her own personal lo-jack device.
Fantasia Could Use a Bathrobe. Or a Parka. Or Some Shame.
Since we’re on the subject of American Idol, here is a recent photo of Fantasia in a bikini. Because vomit tastes better when I know I’m making you suffer too. And here’s a great tip: Ladies, if you put on a bathing suit and it looks like you have a penis… ABORT. MISSION. I don’t want to see it, the person standing next to me doesn’t want to see it, and I promise- that guy who’s checking you out is actually silently comparing, and he’s pissed. So, grab a towel and hide your shame.
Clay Aiken Supports Ruben (the Singer and the Sandwich)
Fat Clay was seen giving his support to fellow American Idol alum, Ruben Studdard. Sources spotted him at the North Carolina State Fair where Ruben was preforming. At least it wasn’t a county fair, right? Notice that Clay, his beard, and the extras Clay hired to stand around him are the only people in the audience. I’d feel bad for him but every once in a while “I’m Sorry for 2004″ pops into my head and I am again filled with a violent rage that can only be soothed by the sweet sounds of Blake Lewis beat-boxing to Bon Jovi. Ahh.
Misinterpreted Photo of the Day
I honestly can’t think of a better way to end this day then with an incredibly attractive picture of Pete Doherty blowing ass. You can wave it away, Doherty, but that stank ass is gonna linger for a while. Better just to casually walk away and suggest to anyone nearby that it was the person standing next to you, like the rest of us do.
Meredith Viera Makes Butt Sex Jokes
In a world where morning television gets about as scandalous as my junior high school career (imagine a chubby girl with matching solid colored sweatpant/sweatshirt combos every day, glasses, and a recently discovered appreciation for deodorant… not exactly hiding boys in my bedroom, that’s for sure) it’s refreshing to hear ‘Today Show’ anchor, Meredith Viera, make a joke about butt sex and then embarrassingly try to change the subject while my boyfriend, Jake Gyllenhaal, is left utterly speechless. Enjoy.
More Fun Hit and Run News!
TMZ reported today that the LAPD will be investigating the hit and run starring Orlando Bloom that took place a few days ago. He walked away from the scene of the crime until a helpful paparazzi told him he needed to go back because he had injured passengers in the car. No official charges have been filed. Except for the one I submitted against him for disorderly mustache abuse that the police officer told me was not a genuine complaint and I told him HE can look at Orlando’s ugly mug all over the internet day after day and tell me that’s not a crime. I was asked to leave, but I think I got my point across.
Britney Spears Acts Responsibly; Earth Destined to Implode
Britney turned herself into the police last night for the car accident she was involved with back in August. The LAPD said,
“At approximately 9:25 PM Miss Britney Spears checked into the Van Nuys County Jail for a court ordered booking. She was put through standard booking procedures which included booking photographs, fingerprinting and collection of information. Britney was at all time cooperative in the process. She was there approximately 45 minutes.”
It is highly unlikely that she will get put away for this- hit and runs are hardly equivalent to drunk driving and even when you drive the wrong way down the freeway you only get sentenced to 88 minutes, so I don’t think we get to look forward to Brit doing any hard time for this. However! Things we have to look forward to: mug shots, missed court dates, and the look of bewilderment that will be on Britney’s face when the judge tells her “you snooze you lose” is not a valid defensive argument.
Click thumbnail below to see Brit’s booking papers.
Kim Kardashian + 8 Year Old On A Stripper Pole = WTF
Get to about 1:40 in, I am speechless:
Keeping Up With the Kardashian’s is going to be such a train wreck that I might have to actually watch it.
Tara Reid Is Nothing Like Paris Hilton Or Lindsay Lohan
I love this, Tara Reid basically comes right out and says that she’s a cracked out skank just like Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton, but it’s ok because she still manages to get to work on time:
“I think the reason I never ended up in as much trouble as Paris [Hilton] or Lindsay [Lohan] is that I’m not stupid, so I’d never do a lot of the things those girls do,” she tells FHMonline. “You’ll never read a story about me going out and partying when I’m supposed to be working, showing up on a set drunk or missing a day, never. But when I’m not working, why shouldn’t I have fun? Am I supposed to stay at home and live in a cage?” She adds: “I was a party girl, but I played by the rules
I personally don’t see much difference at all between Tara, Lindsay, and Paris (except that Paris actually seems like she might be the smartest of the three - she’s banking at least), and I think I’m definitely detecting some bitterness from Tara here:
Tara Reid is the new Kathy Griffin, as in D-List. The “American Pie” star couldn’t get arrested Friday night as she tried in vain to get waved into Hyde, the trendy Hollywood club.
So how bad did Tara feel as former BFF Paris Hilton came sauntering by and breezed inside, as Tara could only stand on the sidewalk and steam?? Look closely, you can actually see her heart deflate … before completely shattering.
Check out the video from last year here.
VH1 Will Give A Show To Any Has Been; Introducing The Salt-N-Pepa Show
Out of work stars from past decades must be cheap because VH1’s entire business model revolves around them. The newest show for VH1 will revolve around Salt-N-Pepa, the duo behind such hits as “Shoop” and “None of your business”.
Apparently Salt and Pepa hated each other towards the end of their run together, with Salt becoming a hard core Jesus freak, while Pepa was “provocative” as the official site for the VH1 show states. I’m sure Salt would just call her a whore though. Or would have before she needed money and agreed to do some reality TV.
