Avril Lavigne Might Be The Lamest Person Alive, Launches Perezlavigne.com

Written by David Linebreak

Avril Lavigne

Avril Lavigne has apparently taken offense to posts that Perez Hilton has written about her, and has decided to launch a website to … accomplish something or other, I’m not exactly sure what. Fight back? Show the world just how much of a joke she is? I mean just check out the writing:

Maybe you have already heard that Perez Hilton wrote bad things about me on his online Blog.

I mean, he thinks in his own little world that he is the best and he makes everybody look silly on his Blog. But in reality he is the biggest silly person I’ve ever seen! His insults have really hurt me so please help me to kick Perez in the ass with this web site now!

Someone needs to have a talk with Avril about overusing the word silly. It is kind of silly. And fucking ridiculous.

And wow, Perez used to be pretty slim (I think that might be the real news here):

Skinny Perez Hilton

Posted on November 9, 2007 | Read more articles on Avril Lavigne

Police Raid Amy Winehouse’s Home

Written by David Linebreak

Amy Winehouse

Things just get crazier and crazier for Amy Winehouse:

Police battered their way into Amy Winehouse’s home yesterday and spent three hours searching through her belongings.

More than a dozen officers smashed in the front door of the house the singer shares with junkie husband Blake Fielder-Civil.

You know at this point you kind of have to wonder how much of her problem’s stem from her poor marriage choice. I mean look at the guy:

Amy Winehouse's Husband Blake

He might as well have a neon sign over his head blinking “Drugs. In my house. Have a look.”

The tabloids in America obsesses over Britney Spears, but American trainwrecks don’t really have shit on their British counterparts. Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan are angels compared to Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty.

Posted on November 9, 2007 | Read more articles on Amy Winehouse

Amyfisher.com Redirects To Amy Fisher Sex Tape

Written by David Linebreak

Amy Fisher

Amy Fisher might want to get a lawyer on this one.

If you type amyfisher.com into your address bar, the site that comes up is amyfishercaughtontape.com (Amy Fisher Caught On Tape .com). This is why it’s a good idea to buy your name as a domain kids! Because someday when you have a sex tape out there the guy that is promoting it will use type in traffic from your name to make some cash. I’m not a domain name expert, but I would imagine Amy Fisher would have a case if she sued the owner of amyfisher.com. Assuming she has the money to go through a legal battle and all, because I’m guessing the sex tape owners have fairly deep pockets (and making more every day from people buying Fisher’s sex tape!).

It actually wouldn’t surprise me if the sex tape peddlers don’t actually own amyfisher.com. They might just be paying the owner of the site for the redirect, assuming they didn’t recently purchase the domain because it used to be an information site on Fisher.

I think Amy Fisher does actually have a website (amyelizabethfisher.com/) but at the moment it doesn’t appear to have anything on it.

Posted on November 9, 2007 | Read more articles on Amy Fisher

Jane Seymour Has Breast Implants

Written by David Linebreak

Jane Seymour

Interesting revelation from the latest person to be kicked off of Dancing With the Stars:
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Posted on November 8, 2007 | Read more articles on Jane Seymour

Pete Doherty Back On Smack

Written by David Linebreak

Pete Doherty

Ah this is unfortunate, but not terribly surprising:

THE Sun today calls for junkie rocker Pete Doherty to be jailed — as we publish shocking footage of him once again injecting heroin.

Just hours after claiming to be drugs free at an awards bash, he was proving that he is as far as ever from kicking his deadly addiction.

I love the breathless seriousness of The Sun’s article. They can barely contain their faux outrage. This from a tabloid best known for the naked women they print on page three.

Doherty is a trainwreck. Tough to see him not dead or in jail in the next ten years really.

Posted on November 8, 2007 | Read more articles on Pete Doherty

Misinterpreted Photo of the Day: Pax Jolie-Pitt

Written by Ty Linebreak

pax-screaming.JPG

That’s the same face I would make if I saw Brad Pitt too! But seriously, he was adopted like, 6 years ago, you’d think he wouldn’t be so star-struck anymore. I guess that’s just the power of the Pitt.

Posted on November 8, 2007 | Read more articles on Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Misinterpreted Photo of the Day

Evangeline Lilly and Dominic Monaghan… Not So Much

Written by Ty Linebreak

dominick-and-evangeline.JPG
Evangeline Lilly and Dominic Monaghan have broken up! According to page six, Dominic was seen at El Cayote in Los Angeles “crying, holding and kissing” another woman. A source recalls,

“They were right in the middle of the room, they weren’t interested in privacy. They looked very intimate. They were nursing margaritas, leaning in, chain-smoking, having intense conversation.”

I don’t know what they’re talking about, I haven’t been to El Cayote in ages! How could Dominic be making out with me when clearly I wasn’t even there? He was probably crying over his bill. I swear I paid $20 for a freaking enchilada last time I was there. Now that he’s got no job and he’s broken up with his sugar mama, he should probably stick to La Salsa for his Mexican cuisine, at least their fish tacos taste better than Evangeline’s did.

Gross.

Posted on November 8, 2007 | Read more articles on Dominic Monaghan, Evangeline Lilly

Lynn Spears Blames Herself

Written by Ty Linebreak

brit-and-mom.JPG

Britney’s mom, Lynn Spears is blaming herself for her daughter’s “issues.”

“I wish I’d been there more while she was touring, but I couldn’t be. I had the other kids to look after… I didn’t raise my children to have Hollywood careers. This all just exploded in my face, and big dreams became big headaches. I do blame myself.”

Well, admitting the problem is the first step. Eliminating the problem is the next. Andrea Yates that shit. Britney’s not too old or too mentally functional to turn down a sponge bath from her mother, right? Eh, it would probably just be easier to glue a bag of cheetos to the bottom of a pool.

Posted on November 7, 2007 | Read more articles on Britney Spears

Halle Berry Has Huge Boobs

Written by David Linebreak

Halle Berry

Pregnancy suits Halle Berry, assuming you think she looks better with ginormous breasts. And really, who doesn’t think that?

Halle Berry Halle Berry Halle Berry

Posted on November 6, 2007 | Read more articles on Halle Berry

Vanessa Hudgens Nude Pictures Haven’t Damaged Her Career

Written by David Linebreak

Vanessa Hudgens nude photo

Vanessa Hudgens naughty photographs haven’t hurt her standing with Disney. They’ve signed her to star in High School Musical 3:
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Posted on November 6, 2007 | Read more articles on Vanessa Hudgens
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