Britney’s Former Ass-istant to Tell All

July 30, 2007

Shannon Funk, who was Britney Spears’ assistant for a whopping 21 days, is reportedly planning to sell her story. She claims Britney didn’t ask her to sign a confidentiality agreement and has been offered $500,000 to reveal her intimate knowledge of the star.

What could she tell us that we don’t already know? I see 15 new pictures of Britney doing something ridiculous every day, so unless she is hosting satanic worship cult meetings on Saturday nights, I doubt anything this chick has to say will be remotely surprising. Even then, I’d probably need to hear that she conducts these meetings while made up in full black-face. That’d be shocking AND racist, which we all know is the best kind.

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