Eva Longoria Sex Tape

Gross. There is allegedly a sex tape floating around out there of Eva Longoria and her husband, Tony Parker. Why does it always have to be celebrities that I hate? Why can’t Rachel McAdams come out with a sex tape? Or Jake? Of course, a sex tape of Jake would probably confirm what I know is already true, but I’d still rather watch an awkward gay sex video that ends with at least one of them crying than a boring sex tape of Eva Longoria and her husband. There’d better be acrobatics or some freaky shit in there. I’m just saying, I’ll still watch it, but don’t waste my time. Ew. I bet they cuddle at the end. Gag me.

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