Lance Bass was Married… to a Woman.

Remember when Britney married that guy in Vegas for like, 15 seconds and the media went fucking bat shit crazy about it? Well, turns out Lance Bass also had a quickie wedding in Vegas back in 1999 and no one even bothered to report it. He explains his stellar reason for the speedy nuptials to E! News,

People do stupid things in the heat of the moment. I’ve been in Vegas where I’ve gotten married for like five minutes, but no one talks about it though… In fact the only reason we did it is because we wanted to get free drinks all night… and we didn’t get one.”

Free drinks?? Getting married should get you way better stuff than bottom shelf vodka! If you’re going to do it anyway, you might as well go all out and register for that sexy red Kitchen Aid mixer that I always lust after when I go to Williams Sonoma. I mean, that you lust after. Because this is about your asinine reasons for getting married, not my unhealthy obsession with fancy kitchen appliances.

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