Lindsay Lohan is Tired of Running
According to TMZ, Linsday Lohan turned herself in to the Beverly Hills Police for one of her adorable, hit-and-run/DUI’s back in May. She is set to appear in court on August 24. I personally would love to see Lindsay go to jail—not because I wish her any harm, but because she would totally turn her jail time into one of those 1970’s, caged women, exploitation movies. Can’t you picture it? Seducing the guard for cigarettes, fashioning a shiv out of her aviator glasses, getting thrown into solitary for a month and then when she comes out she’s all like, “Is that the best you’ve got, John Law?” and licks the guard’s badge. It’ll be so hot, she’ll make Paris Hilton’s jail time look like a kindergarten time out. “You drew pictures and wrote to your fans? I fucking tunneled my way out using only the clasp of my bra. Whatevs.”
[...] whole day in jail, huh? How ever will she survive? I guess I won’t get to see my Lindsay jail-fantasy come true, but I’m sure she’ll find a reason to have to cut a bitch during her 24 hours [...]