Lindsay Lohan Probably Doesn’t Have Geico
Today Lindsay Lohan’s insurance company went to court to settle the claim against her for crashing into a parked van back in 2005. TMZ reports that the plaintiff in the case never showed up for the court date, and thus Linday was not obligated to pay the $3,624.84 in damages.
Well, this is just a matter of basic probability and statistics. Let’s see, if you are 21 years old and crash your car 11 times a year for 5 years and, let me see here, carry the 2, and yes. At least 1 creepy van owner is bound to oversleep on the day of his trial. Or also it could have been hired goons. I imagine Lindsay has access to a whole gaggle of hired goons. Ha! A gaggle of goons.
[...] but Lindsay was all “If you touch me I’ll sue you!” And since he’s seen what Lindsay’s lawyers are capable of, he backed the fuck off. Then they caught up with the assistant and started driving circles around [...]