Misinterpreted Photo of the Day
“Hey Jess?”
“Hmmmm?”
“Uh, why are you on the sidewalk?”
“Tell me I’m pretty.”
“OoooK. You are pretty. Now, why are you on the sidewalk?”
“Tell me I’m prettier then Ashlee.”
“Well, you’re still prettier than she used to be. Ya know, before she fixed the schnoz.”
“Tell me I’m prettier NOW.”
“OK, if I tell you that will you get up?”
“I like the sidewalk. The sidewalk thinks I am beautiful. Sidewalk, you are beautiful too. I would like to marry the sidewalk.”
“Jessica, you are embarrassing yourself, please get up.”
“Remember when I was a virgin?”
“Yes, of course.”
“People liked me then. I’m going to be a virgin again.”
“I don’t think it works that way…”
“Sure it does. I am famous. I can do whatever I want. I am a virgin again and people love me and I am prettier than Ashlee.”
“You know what? This is getting weird. I gotta go.”
“Wait! Come back!! Loooooove meeeeeee!! At least I have you, delicious bottle of Korbel. I will always have you.”
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