Hulk Hogan Is Engaged
December 4, 2009 by m.coonce · Leave a Comment
It was just four months ago that Hulk and Linda Hogan’s divorce became final. In the end, their nasty divorce war left Hulk with a raw asshole, chewed off nipples and a weepy checking account. Hulk must have the memory of a roid pimple, because he’s about to walk down the aisle again. The NYDN says that Hulk is engaged to his girlfriend Jennifer McDaniel.
Hulk’s brain is as fried as his hair and his girlfriend looks like she’s cut from the same cloth as his daughter, so there’s a good chance he accidentally proposed to the wrong orange linebacker. But he didn’t, because TMZ caught up Hulk and Jennifer at LAX on Tuesday. Jennifer showed off her new ring, and Hulk said, “That could be the new Mrs. Hogan.”
If I was Jennifer, I’d hire Elin Nordegren as my prenup specialist. Because Jennifer better get paid a Woods-worth for rubbing her parts all over Hulk’s rotisserie chicken body. Seriously, you should never suck on jerky peen like that for nothing!
And if I was Brooke, I’d constantly walk around with a big sign over my titties that read: “STOP: I’m Your Daughter.”
Madonna Has No Plans to Ever Remarry
October 1, 2009 by m.coonce · Leave a Comment
Madonna has been spotted with boyfriend Jesus Luz for months now — some blogs and gossip Web sites have even speculated the pop star is planning to marry the Brazilian model — but according to Madge, she’d pick death over walking down the aisle again.
“I think I’d rather get run over by a train,” the 51-year-old pop icon told David Letterman when asked if she would marry again during her appearance on “The Late Show with David Letterman” Wednesday night.
“Now I’m married, you’re not married. Go figure,” Letterman joked with Madonna during her eighth appearance on the late night talk show.
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