
When people talk about weddings, there’s a specific image that comes to mind: the tuxedos, the dresses, the flowers, the rings, and a church backdrop to tie it all together. Church weddings tend to be the common ground, as it is accommodating to hundreds of people and provides a venue for a religious elopement to be properly completed.
While it’s the traditional image of a wedding, that doesn’t mean you have to have your wedding inside of one. But what’s the alternative?
The common alternative is the civil ceremony, a wedding that is still presided over but does not take place within a church. You’ll still exchange vows and rings, accepting the classic mens wedding band onto your finger, but your surroundings will look a little different.
Let’s get into the nitty gritty of what makes civil ceremonies and church weddings different, and how you can determine whether a church wedding is right for you and your spouse.
How do civil ceremonies and a church wedding compare?
Civil ceremonies and weddings differ in the type of ceremony you’ll see from start to finish. For one, church ceremonies will obviously have a religious context. They will be overseen by a religious figure, who will officiate the service and read from religious texts to put the sanctity of this marriage into context for those in attendance.
However, civil ceremonies are up to interpretation. They can be whatever they want to be, which adds a level of flexibility which is seen as enticing to many couples.
What your church wedding will look like
Your church wedding will be a standard affair. Attendees will be dressed formally; the bride and groom will be wearing traditional wedding dress wear. The ceremony will follow a common set of events, including having the groomsmen, bridesmaid, groom, and officiant enter to start, followed by the procession of the bride. This will be followed by the usual recitation of scripture, readings, vows, and the eventual exchange of rings and first official kiss.
What happens in between these events will depend upon the religion that the couple practice, as a Catholic wedding ceremony will differ from a Jewish one, although there are similarities throughout.
How civil ceremonies compare
Civil ceremonies have become more popular in recent years, but many people still don’t know what quite makes them work.
Civil ceremonies begin either in a registry office or a city/town hall, where couples have their relationship validated by a legal or civil representative. This will require you and your partner visiting your local registry office or city hall to obtain what is called a marriage license.
Marriage licenses are required to make any marriage legal on paper (in the eyes of the State), but it’s especially important for civil weddings. You and your partner will need to go to this location with proper identification and sign a marriage license, all of which is overseen by a representative of the state.
By getting your marriage license ahead of time, you’re able to legally have your marriage on the books prior to having it officiated at your venue of choice: beach, countryside, or mountains.
The benefit to a civil ceremony is that it’s more relaxed than the traditional wedding. Whereas church weddings are very formal, where those in attendance will wear formal clothing or dress in traditionally religious wear, civil ceremonies allow attendees to dress at the discretion of the bride and groom—if they’re fine with shorts and t-shirts, so be it! The couple also decide how long the ceremony will be, and what type of content will pad it out. Rather than reading bible verses and following the traditional structure, the couple can choose to read their vows, have poetry read, or have family members and friends speak.
Whether a church wedding is right for you
Chances are you’ll already have an idea of what sort of wedding you want before making your final decision as a couple. A civil wedding will be ideal for the couple that’s looking for a non-religious ceremony that allows them to get married wherever they’d like, whether that’s on top of a mountain or at their favorite bar. A church wedding, on the other hand, will provide couples with a venue that is designed for large, communal gatherings and will conduct the ceremony in a religious context, a characteristic many find reflective of the sanctity of marriage.
Each choice comes with its pros and cons, so it requires some deliberation between you and your partner to determine which venue is perfect for your ceremony.
In the end, your choice of location doesn’t really matter. It matters relative to what your ceremony will look like and the type of atmosphere it will occur in, but at the end of the day it’s a marriage between two people who love each other enough to commit their lives to one another. Your wedding location should reflect the relationship you two have, representative of what the two of you stand for and who you are as a couple.
If you’re both religious and come from religious families, a church wedding is perfect for you; if you’re two free souls who enjoy vacationing, a beach ceremony will provide ideal views; if you’re both down-to-earth people who don’t ask for much out of life, a ceremony in your backyard will be enough.
Consider the context and go with your instincts. The two of you will know what’s best for your ceremony, so you shouldn’t overthink it. Whatever the venue, you’ll exchange wedding rings and be set for a future together.